Best Bites of March: Cussworthy Food

In what is so far the busiest month of my year, I tasted so many exquisite food from a lot of restaurants, expensive and affordable alike, that choosing which can be considered “cussworthy” took some time (about three seconds, LOL). In this recap, I decided, with a heavy heart, not to include the awesome dishes that didn’t have that X factor—the “I want to scream and say bad words” factor. Yes, only those dishes that make you throw random swearwords made it. In other words, 'yung napapamura ka sa sarap. Because the truth is, no matter how great a particular dish is, there are others that are great AND at the same time won’t let you sleep because of longing, salivating, and such. So, with apologies to the runner-ups, here are the 8 cussworthy food I ate last March:


1. US Certified Angus Beef Bone-in Rib Eye (PhP5,400/900 grams) from CRU Steakhouse, Marriott Hotel Manila

If you’re a keen steak lover, there’s no way you should allow your precious taste buds to brush with meat that is simply not worthy. CRU’s Steakhouse Bone-in Rib Eye will not disappoint: the premium meat is enhanced further by skillful cooking. Best when medium-rare, this steak simply stands out with its pinkish, juicy insides and slightly charred surface. Even better with CRU’s side dishes (read #2 below) or pair it up with any of their steak sauces, but I assure you, won’t need it.

CPM* Score: 45/60


2. Black Truffle Risotto from CRU Steakhouse, Marriott Hotel Manila

If one paragraph describing an awesome dish will contain only cusswords and wild outbursts, I would run out of words recounting how amazing this dish was. By now I’m sure you’ve gathered that Pepe Samson equates to Truffle Addict, but let me tell you this: the trying hard ones haven’t blinded me yet. Google will penalize me if I choose to write what I really feel about this dish, so please, when you get the 900-gram steak which comes with 5 free sides, just trust me and get 5 black truffle risottos. K bye!

CPM* Score: 55/60



3. Piri Piri Chilean Mussels from Stella & Rocketroom

I’m addicted to Main Street’s Mussels in Herbed Beer Broth, and holy cow, it has found an archrival! Stella’s rendition is just as good: a bucket of mussels swimming in a white wine and garlic broth that’s just waiting for you to dunk your bread—or head—into it. Alternate between the broth and the delicious salsa verde dip. This dish is best paired with some booze, so while you’re at it, order some cocktails from Stella’s exquisite lineup.

CPM* Score: 38/60


4. Unagi and Foie Gras Sushi from Yumi Japanese Restaurant

Talk about lavish. Yumi Japanese Restaurant combines two extravagant ingredients into one hell of a sushi. As if unagi isn’t yummy enough, these folks decided to throw in some foie gras, resulting in a creamy, savory, mind-blowing bite that lasts only for a few seconds but seems to stretch on forever. Yes, let’s just say I’m still dreaming about this sushi.

CPM* Score: 45/60


5. Roti Prata with Curry Sauce (PhP95) from Oliva Bistro Café

There are awesome food—and then there are awesome food that transports you to places. Oliva’s Roti Prata with Curry Sauce gave me the illusion I was back in Kerala, India. The spicy curry sauce is addicting, but who’s complaining especially when the roti is delightfully delicious and chewy? Chef Kannan may be skilled at international cuisine with his extensive experience in Singapore, but believe me, his home cooking shines.

CPM* Score: 36/60



6. Choco Rocky Mountain Ice Cream (PhP95/cup, PhP350/pint) from Up in the Clouds Ice Cream

When it comes to desserts, I usually go for dark chocolate or citrusy cakes—yes, the ones that are not too sweet. But oftentimes, a dessert creation just rises out of nowhere—perfect, iridescent, and incredibly sweet—and infatuates me so deeply that all my erstwhile preferences are shattered. Up in the Clouds’ Choco Rocky Mountain ice cream is such a creation, with its milk chocolate base studded with lots of homemade dark chocolate brownies. This is the most addictive ice cream I’ve ever eaten aside from Selecta’s Mango Graham.

CPM* Score: 35/60



7. Pulled Pork Poutine (PhP220) from Main Street

If you’ve tasted Main Street’s incredible Grilled Pork Chops, it would be a mortal sin not to try their Pulled Pork Poutine. Unlike the ordinary poutine which uses gravy and cheese, generous servings of pulled pork—a little chunky, almost like ribs removed from the bone—top the homemade fries in this version, along with the famed pork chops’ delicious barbecue sauce. You will keep pushing the sinful platter away from you but you will keep reaching out for some more forkfuls.

CPM* Score: 40/60


8. Homemade Potato Chips from Lucia Ristorante

“WTF, POTATO CHIPS?!?!?! Cussworthy?? Are you for real??” you say.

Don’t judge me. Just try it. You’ll thank me. You’re welcome.

CPM* Score: 30/60



*CPM stands for Cusswords per Minute—yeah, the number of curses and swearwords you can say out loud in one minute after one bite of a dish

What were you cussworthy bites recently?

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